A fried chicken sandwich came to mind.
Yes, I know, it's odd. First, I'm almost tasting that medium rare beef, onions, real cheese and thick bacon on a fresh bun, and wouldn't you know it, chicken pops into my head.
It's that old Chick-fil-A outrage. Remember?
Only a year ago, the Chick-fil-A chain sought to open a restaurant on the Northwest Side. Immediately, the politicians were apoplectic with horror and indignation.
Chick-fil-A owner Dan Cathy, an opponent of gay marriage, had dared publicly suggest that marriage should only be between one man and one woman.
City Hall was so offended, the local alderman vowed to block the store's construction. Chicago's mayor weighed in, too.
"Chick-fil-A's values are not Chicago values," warned Mayor Rahm Emanuel. "They're not respectful of our residents, our neighbors and our family members. And if you're gonna be part of the Chicago community, you should reflect Chicago values."
But what of Chicago's values when a heavy-metal burger joint makes national headlines for selling a $17 gourmet burger seasoned with the metaphoric blood and body of Christ?
You must have heard of the amazing story in the Tribune last week, by reporter Ellen Jean Hirst, about Kuma's Corner. The renowned burger place began offering a new burger, the Ghost, to commemorate the Swedish band Ghost B.C.
On its Facebook page, Kuma's explained the burger "in the spirit of our undying reverence for the lord and all things holy." And they listed the contents. A 10-ounce patty, chile aioli, braised goat shoulder, white cheddar cheese and two other special ingredients, quoted here directly from Kuma's:
"Red Wine Reduction (the blood of Christ) with Communion Wafer garnish (the body of Christ). Come pay your respects!"
I've since heard apologists suggest that since the wafers had not been consecrated, they were really nothing but bread. But they do bear the sign of the cross.
I'm not Roman Catholic, but I am a Christian, and I was offended. And sickened. And angry, because the predictable happened. Kuma's got the public buzz. And half-wits couldn't wait to mock Christians who were offended.
One blog at ChicagoNow, part of the Tribune media group, purported in a fake news story to have interviewed the Roman Catholic Pope Francis.
At this newspaper, we're not allowed to make up fake interviews with popes. But some blogs must operate under different rules. According to that blog, "Pope Francis" defended Kuma's. He said he might like his Ghost burger sent to Rome.
"Perhaps ... if this Kuma considers lowering the price so that families with kids - good, breeding families with 8-10 kids - can eat there. You know, like McDonalds," the fake pope said.
That's how some refer to women with children. They're not mothers, they're breeders, you know, like sows producing livestock. Is that part of Chicago's values, too?
We called Kuma's Corner and spoke to Luke Tobias, the director of operations. He said the response had been mostly positive.